Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Fear and Faith

A friend of mine emailed my a wonderful testimonial to a new posture she is taking on. I related to it in so many ways, I asked her permission to post it here as well as my response. I hope you find some encouragement through our thoughts.



Subject: FEAR and FAITH- A Word of encouragement.

Family and Friends,

This morning in my prayer time I ask God for clarity concerning FEAR and FAITH in my life. This word of encouragement I pray will bless your spirits as it has helped mine.

For the past 2 months I have been in a battle within my mind over faith and fear. Fear of what I could not confirm to be true, fear of what I though I could not control, fear of feeling helpless, unloved, mistreated and disrespected. Not necessarily from family or friends, but as a whole. Each day I would have to dig deep, grab a bulldog hold on my faith in God, trust Him further than I could trace Him and encourage myself in the knowledge that I was right where God wanted me to be. I realized at this crossroad, the I needed to hold on to the one thing that stands the test of time, HIS WORD!

Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb 11:1
My faith was being tested. God was challenging me to look internally and come to the understanding that He allows such circumstances to come about in order that I might learn how to totally look to and depend upon Him. So that I can get our of self, focus my attention on His plan and accept that life is not always about me....it's about His will for my life.

I had to stop and take inventory of the things going on in my life. I work and full and part time job to support my family and pay for college. I am in school 2 nights a week working on completing my degree. I'm trying to do ministry and give him the time He deserves but it just seems like I am stretched so thin. FEAR begins to creep in and you question if you are really doing what is right for you as opposed to what God planned. FEAR tells you that you are going to fail, that you are no longer as faithful in certain aspects of your life. FEAR told me that when my boss questioned how focused I was on my job because I was not able to devote my extra time at work to push my staff that perhaps my job was in jeopardy. My boss is used to me being the very best and yes, my focus has not been as precise with the other areas pulling at my attention. At the beginning of the year I made a vow to pay off all existing debt before 12/31/09 12:59 pm. FEAR told me recently that I would not meet that goal even though I am 2 credit cards or $600.00 away from paying off all 5 that I started with at the beginning of the year. Or that I only have 5 car payments left to pay my truck off and my hope was to do it before 12/31/09 12:59 pm and the funds I though I would have by now have not manifested in the natural. FEAR told me the people I care the most about don't care the same way about me. Their absence or lack of attention somehow reflected negatively on me. FEAR was trying to take me out.

For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I HAD TO OVERCOME FEAR. I had to decide for myself that God can remove it all from around me and I would still have faith in HIS plan, purpose and will for my life. I had to stop listening to that little imp whispering words of defeat into my ear gate, and declare that God controlled my destiny and not Valarie, family, friends, co-worker, finances, school or my children.

If we examine FEAR we see that F=Faith. What we allow to enter our EAR gate takes up residence in our mind and feeds our soul. The only way to combat that is by having faith in what God says and not what others say. I was not clearly listing to God though this time.... otherwise I would have heard him saying "I've Got this Val, step back and let me be GOD!."

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7 The more I allowed myself to listen to the distractions, the more they took residence in my mind. As I pondered them, the more focused I became on trying to understand and fix what I thought was broken. The more I tried to fix what I thought was broken the more FEAR consumed me. I was fearful in what my natural eye thought was true instead of trusting my spiritual eye, asking God to reveal the truth and then stand on His will for my life. I was in need of a transfusion for my mind.

When I accepted God's promise though that one simple statement (and it took some kicking and screaming and tons of tears on my part), I realized my lack of trust and faith was causing my fears to manifest in the natural.

God took me into the word and reminded me that David was anointed some 20 years before He allowed him to rule. That all of David's brothers, Jesse's sone, were in the eyes of others more suitable to reign, it was about Gods plan. When He has a plan for our lives it is on purpose. We may not see it, we seldom understand fully, but we must trust through faith in HIM that HIS plan will come to pass.

I've been fortunate to see God's word manifest in the lives of others around me and I am so excited for their blessings because I realize His timing is everything. You see when you do it right, God will bless it right. There have been times and circumstances I've found myself dealing with that I've questioned God's plan and purpose over my life. Some days I wonder how much longer...and God reminds me to not be weary in well doing. I have learned that when I place my focus on things I desire as opposed to the things God demands I begin to doubt and wonder and allow my focus to be shifted. When I take myself out of the equation, re-align myself to His will, I no longer fear the who, what, when, where, why and how but instead embrace HIS timing.

I have to remove myself from certain environments that make me question who I am in Christ and what my worth is.

Just like David, people often times don't recognize greatness in others. It takes a Godly eye to see the purpose and hand of God at work. David was selected from among his older brothers who looked the role but didn't have the anointing. God is only looking for a willing vessel, someone willing to yield to his command. To do so, you have to live and operate in faith. You can not fear where He is taking you, or question the path you are on.

I took the revelation as a way of clearing the clutter in my head and asked God to clear my heart of whatever had taken root to make me question HIM.

I know many of you are struggling, questioning God about why you are in the place you are in. How much longer will you struggle? Why the people you love the most have the tendency to hurt you with a far greater force than those outside of your inner circle. I've been asking God this for weeks now. What God has finally revealed to me is:

Valarie: Let GO!
Valarie: Love Me!
Valarie: Trust and Rely on Me!
Valarie: I see where you are and I know where you'd like to be but I am preparing you!
Valarie: You've had to depend on you most of your life. Now learn to depend on Me!
Valarie: If I took it all away, would you still trust and praise me?
Valarie: I know the thought I think toward you. Thoughts of peace and not evil to give you an expected end. When I set the ball in motion, all you will have to do is walk into your purpose. I am teaching you to be flexible, allowing your roots to grow firm like the palm tree so as the storms arise, you will have the ability to bend in the mist of the storm without being uprooted. I am perfecting your faith, removing all fears, establishing my hold on you and forcing you to walk, live and move by and in faith! Most of all, I am allowing others to see how you go through this storm so when you come out, it will be a testimony to what I've invested in you. I've never been closer to you, and I will never leave you!

God gives this to me the same as He would to you. I pray you are blessed and encouraged by this word. Don't lose sight of your faith, do lose faith in God, don't lose God through Fear and don't Fear change. You've waited this long...You'd better get ready, Payday is coming after awhile!


This and other postings are available at the Damascus website listed below. I pray you are encouraged.


Minister Valarie Williams,
Damascus Road Ministry
www.damascusroadministry.com


My reply was as follows:

Great timely words! I thank God for who He is and His awesome understanding, Love and ever-Presence with us. Your prayerful words mirror my life as I am sure they do many others. I thank you for your unction to express and share your prayers - they r not received over deaf ears and your effort is not in vain. How lovely and awesome is our God!
Be encouraged but more so determine to keep loose from the old weights that once laid heavy on your shoulders and heart - its time for you and me to be free while spirit led for the battle is not ours and our steps R ordered (and backed up) by God.

Have a wonderful day to all who stop by and read today's blog!
cTracy

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Prepared Goodness

A reflection on Psalm 31:19

(NKJV) "O how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear You, which you have prepared for those who trust in You in the presence of the sons of men."

Psalm 31:19 infers through the word prepared that in secret God has a habitual practice of storing up goodness (favor, good deeds, lovingkindness) for those who reverence Him in the presence of the 'sons of men' i.e. here on earth.

A reflection on Psalm 16:7-9

(NKJV) "I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel; my heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope."

As a result of blessing God for counsel and direction during difficult dark seasons or circumstances AND putting Him first in consideration before making any moves...

His strength and power keep me stable and secure

My heart (my spirit man, inner most being, the 'who I am' part of me)

My glory rejoices (my countenance, my mood re-joices - is continually reminded and filled with a joyous contentment and peace)

My flesh rests in hope (my mind, intellect and emotions - the place where decisions are made and where 'worrying' happens)

Be blessed and encouraged!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Each Season, Each Step

Life is a connection of seasons. Some long, some short, some temporary, some permanent and evolving.

This understanding is so important to keep us from living a wandering life, a life that takes us around 'the same mountain' day after day, month after month, year after year.

I am grateful for having learned this lesson - finally. Awareness, understanding, acceptance and planning are key to a life of meaning and fulfillment. A life lived, a life in which one actively participated rather than standing on the sidelines being goaded and pushed to experience life on the field.

Recently having finished a very difficult and challenging season, there were times I was not sure I had what it takes not only to finish, but to fulfill the purpose for which I felt led to pursue the path.

Since having a short couple of weeks, my faith, soul and spirit slowly rejuvinating - I am able to see the how and why God put the desire within me. As I look forward to a full and complete refreshing of my life, I look forward to the steps on toward the next season.

Do I have trepidation about the course? Naturally so, it is par for any course in the beginning stages. My strength growing each day and week keeps me focused and assured that I am right where I am supposed to be. Some days better than others unable to cut through my determination are teaching me the importance of pace.

Within each season, one of the most important points I am gaining in my higher lesson of patience is the significance of pacing yourself. I liken it to the lesson Joyce Meyer taught us in her teaching of 'enjoying the journey'. So as I enter into this new season, I am determined to enjoy the journey with each step no matter what it brings. With God's continual partnership and presence, I know all thing will be well




Blessing and Honor, Tracy

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy 'Easter' Resurrection Day to all!

Just feeling my resurrection and reviving from the two years I worked a double career and earned a master's! I made it ya'll! I thought I was going to finish my last paper and jump off into life again. Not! Lol!

I am as I write taking an extended reprieve in a whole other state away from my usual surroundings. Yes - I'm here to handle some important business but also to reconnect with myself. So far so good, I am beginning to fill with energy once again.

We all need to get away from time to time when we've accomplished something major or even when we've been working at life hard and tirelessly without a respite. We can be no strength or love to our family, work or passion without it.

It's best to find a place that hss a total different pace and scene so you can be truly be refreshed. We often feel we cannot somehow afford it but in reality we can't afford not to do it.

Peace, Purpose, Power and Love to all! Take time for you!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

I found this statement a fellow classmate so profound, I had to write about it. She was speaking of Australia and how beautiful it was. Her statement about it was, "it must be visited at least once in the course of life."

That impacted me heavily as I see how it can be applied to the fabric of our lives. I believe we all have preordained experiences that we must visit at least once in the course of our life. They are written into our 'personal life book' for divine purposes we may or may not ever come to know or understand. Strategically placed on different life journeys with specificity on our paths. Whether or not we engage the experience to its fullness is left up to us.

To the degree of our 'visit' and embracing of the experiences our lives are altered, redirected and enriched in a way most of us will not realize. Nevertheless they are vital points in our lives I think we should not miss, whether they are positive or negative, big or small, happy or sad. To live the life we were meant to in all its completeness each of these experiences must be visited at least once in the course of our lives.